Balloons

"I'm filling balloons
with the air in my lungs.
Trying to lift my feet
from reality,
trying not to let
my dreams die.
These days are hard
for dreamers,
they say.
But they don't say that
these days are
also hard for the
lovers."

Titanic

“I feel us sinking

inch by inch
into the water,
just like Titanic.

Many lives,
but I could’t save us.
I couldn’t save you.
I couldn’t save our future;
It died in the water
just like our past and present.

I’m sorry, my love.
I know I’ll remember this
for the rest of my life,
you and I holding hands,
and the life slipping away.
There was nothing I could do.
There’s nothing I can do.
But if I only could go back in time
you would be here tonight.

”

Already home

“Every now and then
I think about home,
the place where my heart is. 
Every now and then
I think about going home,
and since now it’s now it’s not an option,
I resign myself thinking 
I’m already home.
I’m under the same stars,
the same constellations
as I would be there.
I’m already home 
when I think about those
who I miss.”

Him

“I should’ve told you personally.

I wanted to see the look on your face.
I knew you didn’t want me to come.
I knew I didn’t want to come.
But I came.
Somehow, I need it to.

I finally left you behind,
of all those times
I wanted to forget you.
But not like this,
not like me missing words to say,
not like your hug being so cold,
so fast.
Not in a hurry because
I was just leavin’.

You and me have history.
And now I write this
instead of sleeping.
It’s not right.
We are lacking some closure,
some words,
some clarity.
But we were just kids.

I thought I would have
more to say,
but after all these years
there’s nothing left to say.
You followed your own path
I followed mine.

I miss you.

I don’t know exactly what I miss,
But I miss you.
I miss you being around,
here and there.
I miss our strange way of
still being friends
after all that happened.
I miss your jealousy.
I miss your eyes
looking into mine,
intensity.
I miss your presence.
I miss our afternoon movies,
we holding hands,
fear.
I even miss your mom.

I know it’s all just past.
Years and years behind.
Mostly if we count the years
we met.
It’s not dust.
It will never be dust.

I miss you
You and our devious history.
I miss the feeling that used to
tell me we were meant to be.
But we weren’t.
At least not in that time,
at least not now.

I miss you.

”

Bubbles

I fill myself with love,
a love that I give to you
in portions.
Little by little
each day,
in masked ways.
In a word or a care
my heart involves
all this feelings,
all this love.
But in the end of the day,
I’m still full of love
to give.
Little by little ends up
not being enough.
And now and then
I ache ‘cause you’re
not here,
or I’m not there,
and we’re not close,
physically speaking.
The day ends and
I feel like I’m in a bubble
and you’re outside of it,
but I cannot reach you.

Stay

“It’s 5 in the mourning and the sun is almost rising
the birds outside started to sing
and I’m looking at Venus and thinking of
how love can make it difficult for us to give up on
someone.
It hurts less giving up on giving up than
giving up on someone.
I’m thinking of how we are right now,
how I’m afraid you’ll leave again,
even knowing that we’re not that fine 
anymore.
Still, I don’t want you to leave.
I want you to stay.
Stay.
Stay because even not knowing how I feel
about you anymore, we had a great year.
Stay because of that connection I felt with you,
because I think it still exists somewhere between us.
Stay because there were times I thought we were
thinking of the same thing at the same time.
Stay because everytime I hear that song, that lately is kind chasing me, I remind of you.
Stay because when you are by my side everything is better.
Stay because when you’re by my side I try not to be so egocentric.
Stay because I want to take care of you. 
Stay because I want to keep discovering who you are, your layers. 
Stay, because if you go, it will be for the last time,
and I don’t want to lose you.”

Sometimes seasons end too soon for us to realize

“It was the end of the winter
and we were starting something new.
And as I watch the spring bloom,
I thought that, maybe for the first time,
this was it.
But when I closed my eyes you had already
jumped off our boat.
Today I know I can not blame you,
I was too frightened 
and at some point I would’ve done the same.
You were just the first one to jump.
And this is why I ran away from you
when you were looking for me.
I couldn’t let myself enter in all of that again.
Now I know. 
Sometimes seasons end too soon for us to realize.
As the winter.
As us.”

I know you are my home. You are where my heart is. But, sometimes, it’s not easy to go home. Sometimes we have to go in directions that’s not the right one, or the longest way, because the short one is not avaliable at the moment. Sometimes it takes time. Not because we want to, but because it’s not the time yet.
I’m sure of what I feel. I know that in the end of this path, regardless of what might happen, you still will be my home, my heart, where I wanna be. It’s you, and will always be.

The day I decided to leave,
I cried like I wanted to fill up an ocean
because I knew how much that would hurt me
and how much I would miss you.
And even knowing there was no going back 
after that point, in the end, 
all I wanted was for you to ask me
to stay. 
Even though I couldn’t.

Flowers

I love flowers and I love you. I love how flowers are so beautiful, and make things beautiful; I love how you make me happy, and how everything's better for me when you're by my side. I admit, I don't understand why people love so much the smell of flowers, but I like to think that I understand your fears. I can't describe what I feel when I look to the rose that I grabbed from the garden yesterday, but it's something so admirable: the rose itself and its beauty, and in the same way, I can't really describe exactly what I feel for you. But I know that it's something strong, big, beautiful. And, so like the rose, admirable: because it's for you.

For all the times that you didn't show up
For all the words that were lies
For your touch on my skin
For your eyes looking directly into mine
For your arms around me
And the times when you kissed my neck
And the times when I used to play with the buttons of your shirt
And our huge height difference
And life
And perspective
And, unfortunately, love.
For all the times that I thought you could be the one,
just to find out you were just another one.